“I’ve never told this to anyone before….”

Nothing gets your attention like that statement, right?

Did you feel the reaction in your body?

You just know when you hear those words that your full attention is ESSENTIAL. 

You’ve been entrusted to witness the liberating of one of the most valuable gifts a body has to offer, a deeply buried pain that’s ready to come untethered.

Has anyone ever said those words to you? 

In my experience as a therapist and coach, when I hear these words, my response is instantly deep reverence. 

I am honoured to be trusted, to be the receiver of something so big that it’s never found its way to the surface before.

I’m honoured to bear witness to the courageous power that only comes through this kind of extreme vulnerability.

If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of this statement, you know what I’m talking about, and hopefully for the other person, you were able to hold it together enough to just listen. 

Hopefully you were able to ‘hold space’ for whatever the big thing was that emerged from those great depths to finally see the light for the first time.

These moments after all are as much a test of strength for YOU as they are for the person who’s opening up to you 😉

What’s the test you may ask?

Can you take off your judgment glasses and just listen? 

Can you be present to just see them?

Can you fight off your reflex to ‘fix it’, ‘solve it’, ‘justify it’, or ‘overlook it’ and instead just witness their release?

Although it may sound like an easy thing to do… believe me, it’s not! Your own want/need to make them and you comfortable is SUPER strong.

I’m deeply honoured to say that I’ve been on the receiving end of this statement countless times. 

Each time I’ve learned to slowly and authentically acknowledge the degree of bravery it takes to bring not only awareness, but also a voice to something they’ve worked so hard to conceal (and in front of someone else! Now that takes real guts)

Of course, I’ve also BEEN the one to voice this statement. Maybe that’s why I can feel such empathy.

For me personally, the thought of sharing a hidden truth is truly gut wrenching! Yes, I’ve felt nauseous in preparation at times. 

For me, if I’ve held it in, then it’s most likely because I feel REALLY guilty about it. 

The conditions need to be just right for it to surface:

I need to feel safe. That I’ll be acknowledged, seen and heard, and that what I share will not be re-shared.

I need to know I can ask for what I need.

I need to know I can take my time.

I usually like to be held or have the option of touching someone as I’m sharing.

Only then, and with lots of tears too, can I breach that barrier I created (and yes, I’m well aware that I was the one that created it) to give it a voice.

Our bodies are so wise, and holding in big feelings can make us sick, sometimes REALLY sick. 

Do you listen to your body? 

Is it possible that it’s holding ‘in’ stories or experiences that it just wants you to let go of? 

From my experience these can be from childhood and don’t even make sense cognitively on their way out. OR they can be something so minor that you didn’t THINK it meant anything, but it DID to your body.

There’s such a wealth of wisdom in this living adventure suit (the body).

I’ll say it once more, I’m excited and honoured to be gifted with so many experiences to hold space for that emergence when it’s ready, so it doesn’t have to become an emergence-y

 (sorry I had to be punny, it was right there 😜)

Reach out and ask for help if you’re ready to release.

Not just to me of course, but to someone who you know you can trust to provide you with the conditions YOU need for that beloved and courageous release that YOUR body needs most. 

Please remember, this looks different for everyone, and offering this statement and receiving it are equally powerful 💖✨😊